Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Understanding why things happen for a reason....


Why is it so hard to understand the way and the will of God.

I must say that when fate brought me to Bridge Street 2 weekends ago for a fun night out with friends, only to discover that a fantastic job opportunity was right there, it seemed like a billboard from God. I have stepped away from my BFA and design for almost 4 years now with only some freelance and some creativity sporatically interspersed over that time period. I have walked away and sacrificed it for time to spend with my family. But here I was with 2 people affirming my BFA, how amazing did that feel?! It felt like it was meant to be, it really did, and I was terrified.

When this job at Anthropologie basically fell into my lap, I really thought that was my cue to move onto something new.

The resume, the call, the interview, it all went so well. I guess I am just trying to figure out what I was supposed to get from it all, since I obviously did not get the job.

What am I supposed to learn from this experience.

I think the first thing I am thankful for is that I am not working in Huntsville. I am greatful for the fact that I do not have to commute 3 hours a day, that I do not have to wake up at 4:00 am to get there, and I do not have to be so far away and rely on others to care for my most precious gift.

I think it also reminded me that I am a creative and artistic person, and I can throw it all together still on a whim. I do still have a solid skill set, and it is just on the backburner now while more pressing things are in my life like raising my son and supporting my husband into medical school.

So where does it leave me? Who knows. Still searching I guess. Still searching for what I am supposed to do in the meantime. How am I supposed to help contribute to our little family while life is crazy and chaotic? God will provide a way and a means. Who am I to question what, where, and how. All I can do is discover, review and file away what I have learned and keep pressing forward.

1 comment:

Ib's Mom said...

I too thought, wow, you lost your MT job for THIS reason. To have your dream job. But, it was so far away, and would take you away from your son. So, it truly is NOT your dream job. I think that maybe the whole experience was to show you that you still got it, Tracy! You can find something you want, go after it and make a great impression. I mean, how quickly it all happened for you. I was so sure you would get the job. Better things to come, though!